Sure in High School I did track. But I was queen of finding a way out of running during practice. I just wanted to tan during practice and go the the track meets. Needless to say, I wasn't very good. I didn't push myself and that resulted in me being just mediocre. And being mediocre does nothing for your self esteem.
After High School I joined a gym and paid a year's worth of fees just to go MAYBE once a month. I didn't run because it was hard. Like anything you haven't done for a long time, the first attempt at it feels awful. This was my relationship with running for the next several years. I would get the idea that I wanted to start running but then run number one would suck and I would resign to my lazy ways.
Life was kind of boring for a while as I worked retail and tried to figure out what to do with myself. After realizing I wasn't going anywhere, I joined the Air Force.
They MADE me run. But I still didn't like it because I was being forced to do it.
After bootcamp and my tech training, I was assigned to a base in California. If I thought running was hard before, it became even harder. The base is filled with Euclyptus trees. After months of having breathing problems, I saw a specialist. I was told that I had Asthma.
The news of having Asthma was all the reasoning I needed to not run. The diagnosis meant I didn't attend PT (like gym class) and eventually led to me being discharged from the Air Force.
For a year and a half I used Asthma as an excuse not to run. I convinced myself that I COULD NOT run. I convinced myself that if I did, I would have an Asthma attack and die. I convinced myself it was okay to be lazy.
I still tried running off and on. Always allowing myself to quit when it got hard. I was constantly playing a mental game.
In November 2010 my husband who was also in the Air Force got deployed. I had nothing to do but school. That gave me too much time to worry about him. So half-way through his deployment I decided much like any other time, that I would start running. To keep me accountable I started this blog.
This blog is my way of creating a support system. It also helps me gather info from those who are much more experienced. And this blog serves as a reminder to show me how far I have come.
This is my journey. I WANT to be a runner.